|
United Way Member Agency
| |
Ann Davis Transition House
The transition house provides shelter and support to women
and their children who are leaving an abusive relationship and need
temporary safe accommodation. Single and elderly women are also victims of
abuse and may use the transition house.
Abuse occurs whenever one person
is victimized by another. Your partner does NOT have the RIGHT to control or
abuse you. An attack on a stranger is assault and so is an attack on a
partner.
Physical abuse includes: pushing, slapping, punching.
 | Psychological abuse includes:
 | threats to harm you, the children or your family; |
| the threat to commit suicide or to "take" the children from you;
|
| restricting your activities; isolating you from family or friends;
|
| any degrading activities; insults/put downs, name calling; |
| undermining your self-esteem or position with the children; keeping
you in fear; |
| controlling money. |
|
| Sexual assault is any sexual activity you do not wish to engage in,
ignoring your right to say "NO".
No one has the "right" to abuse another. The behaviour has been learned
and will be passed on to children. We are not responsible for being
abused, but we are responsible for changing the pattern in our children's
lives. |
Photos by Lee
(click photo for large view)
Why Do Abused Women Stay?
- Women are fearful of losing their children and/or being murdered.
- The initial period of separation is the most dangerous for women.
- Women lack trust in the legal system and the police response to
protect them.
- Restraining orders give a false sense of security and Police fail to
uphold court orders.
- Transition houses are often full.
- The financial realities of separating include the consideration of:
Lawyers fees, housing deposits, finding housing that takes children,
daycare costs/finding daycare, inadequate child maintenance award which
may be
taxable and unreliable, seeking social assistance, locating employment or
retraining.
- Exhaustion follows abuse whether physical or psychological and leaves
little energy. The fight or flight response is constant.
- Women's self-esteem is damaged by the verbal and physical abuse and
the shame of being abused by the person who is supposed to love them.
- Women feel responsible for their abuse: according to their abuser,
according to society "you chose him for better or for worse", and women
are made to feel their communication skills or their conflict management
skills are lacking.
- Isolation from family and friends so women can't check their own
perceptions. The shame of having been abused makes it hard to tell even
the closest friend.
- In order to survive, women may use repression, denial, and other
defence mechanisms to help them survive. i.e. "it must be the drugs or the
alcohol that is making him do this"
- Society still gives the message that a woman without a male partner
may have something wrong with her.
- Even though the women may seek separation from her abusing partner,
contact often continues because of children. Women may feel they can never
really be free of the abuser because of the children. Legal, financial,
and emotional abuse can continue, usually putting the children in the
middle as pawns to execute the abuser's continued power and control. Times
such as transfer of children for weekend access, parent-teacher
interviews, school plays, sports activities all become very tense because
of the potential for verbal or physical abuse toward the mothers.
Photos by Lee
(click photo for large view)
|
Contact Information ...
- Telephone:
604-792-2760
- FAX:
604-792-2875
- Postal address:
9475 Williams St., Chilliwack, BC V2P 5E8
- Electronic mail:
- Information - General
Information
Donations - I want to make a donation
|
|
