THERE ARE MANY TYPES AND DEGREES OF ABUSE.
HERE IS A CHECKLIST TO HELP YOU CONSIDER IF YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. ALL OF THE FOLLOWING ARE ABUSE:
PHYSICAL ABUSE – To:
- pinch
- burn
- push/shove
- choke
- restrain
- withhold medical treatment
- pull
- break bones
- shake
- cause internal injuries
- slap
- disable
- bite
- disfigure
- pull hair
- use guns
- punch
- use knives or other objects as weapons against you
- kick
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE – To Intimidate or Isolate:
- threaten
- break things
- speed in vehicle
- destroy property
- display weapons (guns, knives, belts)
- threatening to kill you
- control who you see/talk to
- control what you do/where you go
- act jealous
- move residence frequently
- threatening suicide
- Minimize/Deny Blame
- say one thing/expect another
- deny abuse happened
- make light of own actions
- say that you’re crazy
- not take concerns seriously
- blame you for their abuse
- tell lies
EMOTIONAL ABUSE – To:
- make all the decisions
- force you to listen to them
- play mind games
- force you to do degrading things
- deny your feelings/ideas
- use guilt
- withholding affection
- use the silent treatment
- continually wake you up
- tease
VERBAL ABUSE – To:
- yell at you
- insult you
- call you names
- use sarcasm
- swear/profanity
INTELLECTUAL ABUSE – To:
- make you prove things to him
- attack your ideas and opinions
- play mind games
- manipulate information
- demand perfection
- tell you you’re crazy
- make you feel stupid
FINANCIAL ABUSE – To:
- call welfare
- close bank accounts
- limit access to money
- waste money and create debt
- make you account for every penny
- not pay child support
- control the money
- take care of own needs only
PETS, PROPERTY ABUSE – To:
- kill or threaten pets
- damage the vehicle
- punch walls and doors
- smash and break things
- throw things
SPIRITUAL ABUSE – To:
- put down your faith
- soul murder
- cut you off from your church
- use scripture against you
- use church and faith to his advantage
CHILD ABUSE (Using the Children) – To:
- abuse children
- belittle you in front of your children
- threaten to harm or take children away
- use visitation as leverage
- refuse to make support payments
SOCIAL ABUSE – To:
- isolate you from your friends and family
- dictate who you can see
- prevent you from working
- monitor phone calls or mileage
USING CULTURE – To:
- use his culture as an excuse for abuse
- force you to adopt his cultural practices
- put down your culture
- allow his extended family to abuse or control you
- refuse to allow you to learn Canadian culture
SEXUAL ABUSE – To:
- make you dress a certain way
- not respect your feelings when you’re not interested in sex
- not respect your feelings when you’re interested in sex
- make you perform unwanted sexual acts
- demand too much sex
- use sexual harassment
- force you to watch pornography/watch or have sex with others
- physically attack breasts or genitals
- have sex after a beating or argument
- have violent sex
- expose self inappropriately
YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF:
- Do I feel responsible for the abuse and the problems?
- Do I believe that I am the only one who has to change my behaviour?
- Do I believe that I can change my partner?
- Do I agree with my partner’s description of me?
If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may benefit from the education, information and support